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Even before a priest may know he is gay, he knows the closet. The code is taught early, often in seminary.

“You can be taught to act straight in order to survive.”

Numquam duo, semper tres , the warning goes. Never two, always three. Move in trios, never as a couple. No going on walks alone together, no going to the movies in a pair.

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The higher-ups warned for years: With whom do you have a relationship that would be a healthy human relationship? Today, training for the priesthood in the United States usually starts in or after college. But until about , the church often recruited boys to start in ninth grade — teenagers still in the throes of puberty.

Priests cannot marry, so sexuality from the start was about abstinence, and obedience. There were years that I carried this secret. My prayer was not that, would God change me. It was that I would die before anyone found out. I could be a truck driver like my dad.

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But I was gay, so the only other thing left was, I could be a priest. The sexual revolution happening outside seminary walls might as well have happened on the moon, and national milestones in the fight for gay rights, like the Stonewall riots, on Mars. One priest in a rural diocese said the rules reminded him of how his elementary school forced left-handed students to write with their right hand.

Priests in America tend to come out to themselves at a much later age than the national average for gay men, Many gay priests spoke of being pulled between denial and confusion, finally coming out to themselves in their 30s or 40s. Father Greiten was 24 when he realized he was gay and considered jumping from his dorm window. He did not jump, but confided his despair in a classmate. His friend came out himself. It was a revelation: There were other people studying to be priests who were gay.

It was just that no one talked about it. He reached out to a former seminary professor who he thought might also be a gay man. He intervened, and came out to them. He lost three friends that night. That is a reason many of the men are out to only a few close friends. The grapevine has taught them which priests in their diocese are gay, whom to trust and whom to fear.

Before then, I was out to certain classmates. I realized this is not a me issue. This is a human rights issue. But there is still way too much homophobia in the church. All priests must wrestle with their vows of celibacy, and the few priests who are publicly out make clear they are chaste. Still, many priests said they had had sex with other men to explore their sexual identity.


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Some have watched pornography to see what it is like for two men to have sex. They ultimately found more anguish than pleasure. One priest had sex for the first time at 62, no strings attached, with a man he met online. The relationship was discovered and reported to his bishop, and he has not had sex since.

Another priest, when asked if he had ever considered himself as having a partner, wondered what that even meant. He paused, before mentioning one very special friend. Though open, the closet means that many priests have held the most painful stories among themselves for decades: There are few places in the world we feel comfortable walking in the streets holding hands outside of the gay village, and Holland is one of them.

The Wild West Was Actually Much Gayer Than You Think

When it comes to progressive laws and equality, the Netherlands is one of the most culturally liberal places in the world. It's certainly the most progressive we've been to. The Netherlands was the first country to legalise gay marriage in It was also one of the first countries to decriminalise homosexuality in Equal rights laws banning discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation were introduced as early as , and in addition, the country has very lenient adoption and transgender laws. Amsterdam is also well known for being a very gay friendly city, with one of the most unique Pride events — a parade of floats on boats through the famous canals.

We love their gay slogan: Sweden consistently tops all polls of gay friendly countries in the world, including the latest Spartacus rankings. It has one of the most progressive LGBTQ laws, including gay marriages since , adoption laws since and extremely comprehensive anti-discrimination laws. In terms of Pride events, there are more Pride festivals per-capita in Sweden than anywhere else in the world, with over 30 different Pride celebrations taking place across the country, throughout the year.

Stockholm and Gothenburg Pride are one of the largest, which have between them hosted Europride no fewer than 3 times. And of course there is Sweden in the Eurovision Song Contest: Not only did Sweden give us ABBA in , but in the past few decades they've collected win after win, fast becoming one of the most successful countries in Eurovision history. Portugal's pink standing has shot up massively over the past decade, taking joint 1 place with Sweden and Canada in the latest Spartacus rankings.


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  • It began by decriminalising homosexuality in and today has one of the most progressive LGBTQ laws in the world. It legalised gay marriage in becoming country 8 to do so , adoption in and in passed the Law of Gender Identity which is one of the most advanced trans friendly laws in the world.

    Top 10 most gay friendly countries in the world - Updated 12222

    Portugal is also one of the few countries to have an outright ban in its constitution against discrimination on sexual orientation Article Lisbon has a fantastic gay scene with many gay bars, clubs and parties particularly around the Bairro Alto and Principe Real areas. Porto is another popular tourist hotspot north of Lisbon with an active gay scene, particularly around the Galaria de Paris area.

    And let's not forget, Cristiano Ronaldo — Portugal's super sexy football stud and recently voted gay icon …! Iceland for us is one of the most LGBT friendly countries in the world for so many reasons. Gay marriage was ticked off in June with a unanimous vote in the Icelandic Althing the national parliament of Iceland. Normally in same-sex marriage debates, you have a sad minority droning on about how unnatural we are and how we pollute the sanctity of marriage etc etc… But not in Iceland. Gay marriage laws passed here with flying pink colours! It also scores as the second highest country in the world after Spain on the PewGlobal scale about whether society should accept homosexuality.

    We met Finn Ballard in Berlin , a female to male transgender, who told us why Germany is one of the most appealing places in Europe for transpeople to live. Say what? A staunchly Catholic country, which didn't legalise divorce until and still bans abortion? So what happened in the last 5 years that transformed Malta into one of the most gay friendly countries in the world?

    It all began in when the progressive centre-left Labour Party led by Prime Minister Joseph Muscat came to power and prioritised gay friendly policies led by the proactive Minister for Equality, Helena Dalli. In , Malta legalised gay marriage along with full adoption rights.

    List of gay, lesbian or bisexual people: W–Z

    In , it became the 2nd country to legalise gay marriage, as well as one of the first to pass transgender and anti-discrimination laws. Interestingly, Belgium was also the second country after France to decriminalise homosexuality back in , only beaten by France. Belgium has also had its share of openly gay politicians including the world's second openly gay head of government, former Prime Minister, Elio Di Rupo In , Argentina became the first country in Latin America to legalise gay marriage, making it the 10th in the world to do so, and the 2nd in the Americas after Canada.

    We have always felt welcomed everywhere during our travels in Argentina and love returning here.

    We've deliberately placed these two together.